1. PERSONAL: Married, 1992 Chevrolet.
2. PERSONAL: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs.
3. MARITAL STATUS: Often. Children: Various.
4. MARITAL STATUS: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.
5. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one.
6. I am loyal to my employer at all costs...Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voicemail.
7. EDUCATION: College, August 1880-May 1984.
8. QUALIFICATIONS: No education or experience.
9. I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich.
10. REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB: a) Responsibility makes me nervous. b) They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions. c) The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers.
11. SPECIAL REQUESTS & JOB OBJECTIVES: Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.
12. PHYSICAL DISABILITIES: Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep.
13. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
14. Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.
(from https://www.funny2.com/resume.htm )
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WRITING
Study the plan of the Curriculum Vitae.
Curriculum Vitae
Format
Your Contact Information
Name, Address, Telephone, Cell Phone, Email
Personal Information
Date of Birth, Place of Birth, Citizenship, Visa Status, Gender
Optional Personal Information
Marital Status, Spouse's Name, Children
Employment History
List in chronological order, include position details and dates, Work History, Academic Positions, Research and Training
Education
Include dates, majors, and details of degrees, training and certification, High School, University, Graduate School, Post-Doctoral Training
Professional Qualifications
Certifications and Accreditations, Computer Skills
Awards
Publications
Books
Professional Memberships
Interests
Study the CV given below. What do you like and what do you dislike in it?
CURRICULUM VITAE
Name: Svenn Kjetil Haveland
Date of birth: 1973
Nationality: Norwegian
Languages: Norwegian, English, (Knowledge to German)
Profession: Electronics engineer
Position: Manager
Employed by SIEMENS: June 1996
Summary: Today I am Manager for Engineering Department in Bergen in Siemens Oil & Gas Offshore AS. Personnel responsibility for approximately 100 persons divided on 6 Department Managers. Responsible for budgets, competence, recruitment and resource allocation to our projects. The first 10 years in Siemens I worked with Information Management and communication systems towards oil platforms. Most of the time being a technical coordinator, I have been working with technology involving programming, database administration, configuration and offshore commissioning. In addition I've had administrative responsibility like project manager, co-ordination, planning, document and version control and in-house education.
Education
1993 - 1996: Engineering education at Hoeyskolen in Bergen, department of electronics.
1989 - 1992: University Entry Exam at Fyllingsdalen.
Courses
2006: Course in understanding of the oil process SIMATIC PCS 7 System Course
2004: Personal Management / HES course
1999: AspenTech InfoPlus.21 fundamentals Course
1998: MS Project 98 Introduction Course
1997: Oracle Structure Query Language Course