Learning to strike a balance between over-parenting and being too lax with your children is an important parenting tool
by Jessica Padykula
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Kids need their parents to help guide them through life and to keep them safe, secure and healthy. But they also need to learn who they are and develop their own likes and dislikes, and learn from their mistakes. By hyper parenting a child, you may be limiting their ability to grow and come into their own. Kids need loving parents in their lives, but also room to grow.
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Hyper-parenting often comes from a good place; parents want only the best for their children, but it can have a negative effect on how they learn and develop, as well as the relationship they have with their parents. Kids who are either coddled, pushed too hard, or never left alone to make their own choices and mistakes are under too much pressure to perform and can end up behind their peers in terms of social development. Hyper parenting may eventually cause a child to resent his or her overbearing and overprotective parents.
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It can be tough to know when to take a step back, or even how to let go when all you want is the best for your kids, but it is important to not continually pressure or coddle kids. You can do this by limiting activities (find out what you kids really love and eliminate the rest), making sure there is time to play, praising your kids for more than just good grades and generally allowing your kids to be themselves without over-supervising. Unless you need to step in for health and safety reasons, try and let kids be kids.
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We all want to be good parents and ensure kids get the best of everything, but sometimes that parental enthusiasm can go too far. Hyper parenting has been defined in a number of ways, most often as an “over-involved” parent, or a parent who is trying too hard and in a way that can actually impede a child’s success or progress. Often a “hyper parent” will over-schedule their child in extracurricular activities, be over-involved in their social and academic lives, and not give them the space to develop on their own without constant interference.
(https://www.babypost.com)
Discuss these questions.
ü When you were a child, did your parents encourage you to take part in any activities outside school, such as sport or music? Did you enjoy it?
ü Are there any other extra-curricular activities which you wish you had had the opportunity to do?
ü Do you think hyper parenting is common in your country? Why? Why not?
| Listening |
Hyper-parenting
Cathy Hagner’s children have (1) _____, soccer and piano after school.
Cathy admits that everyone in the family is suffering from (2) _____ because of their lifestyle.
Hyper-parenting affects (3) _____ parents in the United States and Britain.
Expectant mothers are told that they have to eat (4) _____.
More and more children are getting (5) _____ because they are so stressed and tired.
Many children have to attend (6) _____ after school because both parents work.
Some of the children who do activities outside school are only (7) _____ years of age.
Parents worry that they are (8) _____ their children if they don’t give them every opportunity.
Terri Apter has found that many teenagers can’t cope with (8) _____ they have when they start college.
Apter advises that, along with organizing extra-curricular activities for their children, parents should give them enough time for (10) _____.
(from First Masterclass)
Exercise 12. Match the adjective prefixes extra, hyper, over and under with the adjectives below. More than one answer may be possible.
| active | curricular | indulgent | optimistic |
| populated | priced | sensitive | staffed |
| terrestrial | used | critical | dressed |
| grown | ordinary | qualified | valued |
Complete the sentences with the correct prefix+adjective.
1. Some children are …: they can’t sit still for a minute.
2. Some parents are …: they give their children everything they ask for.
3. One of my friends is …: she bursts into tears at the smallest criticism.
4. The party invitation said “smart-casual’, but I don’t think either Tom or Sophie read it. He was … as he turned up in a tuxedo, and Sophie was … as she arrived in a pair of scruffy jeans.
5. Many people would agree that hospitals in the UK are …: this is because there is a shortage of doctors and nurses.
6. No one had lived in the house for years and the garden was really ….
7. A number of … activities are reported in the USA every year: there have been sightings of flying saucers and strange goings-on.
8. Winning the championship seven times in a row was an … achievement.
9. My English teacher at school was …. She pointed out every single mistake I made and I got discouraged as a result.
10. When my friend Josh applied for a job stacking shelves in a local supermarket, he was told he was … for the job. Next time, he is not going to say he’s a graduate.
Exercise 13. Read the abstract below. Match the bolded phrase with the best definition below.
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a young people who don’t accept society’s values ☐
b understand his mistakes ☐
c (informal, disapproving) an unpleasant child, one who behaves badly and whose parents allow to behave as he/she wishes ☐
d an infant ☐
e did every little thing that he wanted even when it was not appropriate ☐
f a criminal who is still legally a minor ☐
g young genius ☐
Complete these short dialogues using collocations from the abstract.
1. A: Antonio can play all Mozart’s violin concertos and he’s only nine.
B: Yes, I’ve heard he’s a ……….
2. A: Meena has just had a son. I want to get him a present.
B: Well, they’ve got lovely things for ……… in the shop next to the hospital.
3. A: Why did the police decide to build that new unit for young offenders?
B: It was suggested by a businessman who’d once been a ……… himself.
4. A: Tim’s older boys are nice but the youngest screams if he doesn’t get his own way.
B: Yes, he is a ………. His parents give him whatever he wants.
5. A: I’ve read a lot recently about young people who feel alienated from society.
B: Yes, there seems to have been a spate of headlines about ……….
(from English Collocations in Use. Advanced)
Exercise 14. Write the correct form of the verbs given in brackets. Sometimes more than one answer may be possible.